http://blanktop.blogspot.com/
This is a good blog. The guy is a dispatcher for a cab company and some of his stories are hilarious.
Here is an example of one I found particularly enjoyable.
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ME: Blank Top, your phone number please?
GUY: No I don't need a cab, I left a green backpack in one of your cabs Saturday night, and they said to call today and ask for lost and found.
ME: Sure, hold on a sec.
I transfer him. A few minutes later. . .
ME: Blank Top, your phone number please?
GUY: I'm the guy who left the bag in one of your taxis last Friday, but don't transfer me to lost and found again, nobody is picking up the phone there, so I want to talk to you, okay?
ME: Okay.
GUY: Now is there any way to find out if anybody turned in a bag?
ME: I wouldn't know, you'd need to talk to lost and found.
GUY: Why is nobody answering the phone there?
ME: Seeing as how it's after five they've probably gone home. Just leave a message and they'll get back to you, or call tomorrow during regular business hours.
GUY: Shit . . . Let me ask you something: if a driver finds a bag, will they open it and look in it? Or will your lost and found people open it?
ME: I guess, maybe. Maybe to see if there's anything in it that they can use to figure out who the bag belongs to, like a business card or something.
GUY: So they always do that?
ME: I don't know.
GUY: Okay, I need to leave STRICT instructions that if anybody turns in a green backpack with black trim, under no circumstances should it be opened, okay?
ME: . . . I wouldn't even know how or where to place a request like that.
GUY: I'm serious, if anybody opens this bag I will take it as an invasion of privacy and I'll sue.
ME: Look, I have no idea how I would even pass that along, alright? You can leave a message at lost and found if you want but . . .
GUY: (interrupting) I am letting YOU know RIGHT NOW that ANY SEARCH of that bag will be ILLEGAL, DO YOU UNDERSTAND?!
ME: . . . Face it buddy, they're gone.
GUY: WHAT'S GONE?!
ME: Your drugs. Let them go man. They're gone.
GUY: WHO SAID ANYTHING ABOUT DRUGS?!
ME: Well I'm GUESSING drugs based on your wild paranoia about anybody opening the bag, and your talk of "illegal searches", not to mention your irrational anger, but I guess it could be lots of things; drugs, guns, pictures of naked twelve year olds. . . to be honest I can't WAIT to find out what it is!
GUY: YOU PEOPLE HAVE NO RIGHT TO GO LOOKING THROUGH OTHER PEOPLE'S PRIVATE PROPERTY!!!
ME: Hey, we're just trying to reunite bag with owner. You're the one who left a bag full drugs, guns, and pictures of naked twelve year olds in his taxi. Shoot, a fella could have a pretty good weekend in Vegas with all that stuff.
GUY: . . . . . . . . . .
ME: I don't suppose you'd give me your name and address to make the cop's job easier would you?
GUY: (hangs up)
As usual, if this does get turned in and it's anything interesting I'll update.
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